The Perfect Breakup

When you break up with someone…

  1. Know why. Before you act, do a little self-reflection. It’s easy to say “It’s not you, it’s me” but a lot harder to mean it if you don’t know what about you “it” is. You don’t have to tell your soon-to-be-ex everything, but you should at least understand for yourself.
  2. Be honest. While you don’t have to unleash a torrent of insults on the person you’re breaking up with, at least be clear about the main reasons things aren’t working for you. And don’t lie about remaining friends if you have no interest in this person as a friend. It just drags out the inevitable.
  3. Don’t drag it out. It can be scary to tell someone you’re not interested in seeing them any more. So scary, in fact, that you don’t – you just act colder and colder, find excuses not to see them, start picking at their weaknesses, putting them through the wringer while you build up the courage to do what you need to do. You’ll both be happier if you make a clean break sooner rather than later.
  4. Be gentle but firm. There’s no reason to be hurtful, no matter how bad things are going. But do be clear that this is not an ultimatum, an invitation to improvement, or just another argument – this is The End.

When someone breaks up with you…

  1. Dignity first. Easier said than done, especially if you thought things were going well. But no matter how surprised you are, try to act in a way your parents (or clergy, or some other person you respect) would be proud of. Don’t threaten, attack, list their shortcomings back at them, scream, faint, say you’ll kill yourself, beg, or do anything else – the best that can happen is you’ll feel awful later, the worst is that they won’t break up with you and now you’re stuck with someone who wants out.
  2. Get to a safe place. Find a friend, a family member, a clergy member, or anyone you can count on and let them support you. Getting dumped is hard work – you’re going to need a little while to process it.
  3. It really isn’t you, it’s them. Don’t be too hard on yourself – they dumped you for reasons that have to do with who they are, not who you are. Seriously, when we’re really in love, we’re in love with a person’s faults as well as their best features; the bottom line is, if you have faults that drove someone away, it’s because they didn’t accept and love them, and therefore didn’t accept and love you. That’s not an excuse to be awful, it’s just the truth – the worst murderers and rapists and dirtbags in the world still manage to be loved by someone.
  4. But don’t let yourself off the hook, either. The person that just dumped you had their own reasons, but that doesn’t mean you’re perfect. Consider what you want from a relationship, and why you weren’t getting it from the one that just ended (and you weren’t, I promise). And learn from that.

After the break-up…

  1. No take-backs. Seriously. No booty calls, no pre-existing commitments, no getting together just to talk. Not for a good while, anyway – I realize that people can change and make things work, but that doesn’t happen overnight. More often what happens overnight is you get lonely, or you can’t find anyone better, or you get horny. Getting back together can only prolong something that’s pretty much doomed. I know you think you’ll be the exception, but you won’t. Not until one or both of you make some real changes.
  2. Let hate happen. Being angry at an ex is natural. It might be stupid, unproductive, even awkward, but it’s totally natural – let it happen. Don’t act out towards them or anything, but don’t try to force yourself to process all that emotion out of the way too soon. It takes time – both to deal with your anger over whatever they did or said or were, and to get over your anger at yourself. And you will be angry at yourself: for getting involved with someone who was wrong for you, for being suckered, for letting someone good get away, or for any of a host of reasons. Let it happen.
  3. You don’t have to be friends. Especially if your now ex-relationship lasted a long time, this can be hard to swallow. Yes, your ex probably does know you better than anyone else. And you probably have a lot of the same interests. Maybe you will eventually be friends, down the road, but for now, you have to be faithful to yourself first – you really can’t put yourself out there for your ex the way a friend should. And if you never get to be friends again, well, that’s sad, but it’s not the worst thing ever. Don’t force it.
  4. Don’t get even. If you were hurt badly, your instinct might be to hurt them back. Not a good idea. Seriously, as hard as it is, you have to let it go. It’s not a game with winners and losers – the pain you’re feeling is the pain of having invested yourself in a situation that was wrong for you. Going for revenge will only hurt you more (you’re still investing in that bad relationship), and may hurt others around you (like the person you sleep with to get back at a cheating ex).
  5. Don’t stalk. This should be self-explanatory, but apparently it’s not. Think of breaking up like going to jail – you’re allowed one phone call. (And it should be about the stuff they left at your place, and that’s it!) Don’t call them to ask “why?!?!”, don’t check their email or voicemail with the password they forgot they gave you, don’t hang around their work, and definitely don’t visit them at home. Here’s the thing: psychologically, there’s a threshold beyond which you lose control of what seem at first like harmless issues, and you become obsessed. Stalking really is a sickness; fortunately it’s preventable by simply denying yourself the satisfaction of trying to find out about your now-ex.Here’s the other thing: yes, they’re seeing someone. Yes, they’re flirting with that new assistant at work. Yes, they’re working as an exotic dancer now. Yes, they’re into all sorts of kinky stuff they would never do with you. Yes, they took that trip to Asia you planned together. Yes, they got a better job. Yes, they went back to their spouse. Yes, they got a dog. Yes, yes, yes – everything you’re afraid of is true. Stop worrying about their life and start living your own!
  6. If you’re being stalked, don’t respond. Stalking is a simple positive reinforcement mechanism: the stalker does something, and are rewarded when you respond. When the phone rings 50 times and you finally pick up and tell them never to call you again, they get their reward – and they learn that they have to let the phone ring 50 times to get it again. Same with email, ringing the doorbell, visiting you at work, etc. Pay no attention, at all. If things get too out of hand, appoint someone  — a security person at work, a family member at home, or whoever you can trust – to block all contact. Send their calls automatically to voice mail, set up a forwarding rule in your email program to send their emails to someone else to review (in case they turn threatening) – generally erase the person from your life. Eventually, the pleasure circuit will run out of ways to get that stimulus and your stalker will start to heal.

10 Tips For Better Sleep

Jangan makan berlebihan saat malam hari

Usahakan agar makan malam Anda tidak melewati pukul 19.00. Perut yang penuh menyebabkan tubuh masih melakukan proses pencernaan, sehingga tubuh belum beristirahat. Walau bukan makanan berat, kurangi juga konsumsi makanan ringan di malam hari.

Jangan melakukan kegiatan yang menyita mental dan pikiran saat menjelang tidur

Kegiatan atau pekerjaan yang membutuhkan pertimbangan dapat menyebabkan Anda sulit tidur. Perdebatan yang dilakukan malam hari juga menimbulkan efek yang serupa. Jadi, jangan biarkan kegiatan itu dilakukan setelah jam 20.30 malam.

Mandi dengan air panas

Kegiatan ini dapat membuat tubuh lebih rileks sehingga Anda bisa tidur lebih cepat. Mandi dengan air panas ini dapat Anda lakukan 1 jam sebelum tidur.

Minum susu panas

Ini juga dapat membantu tubuh lebih santai dan tidur Anda semakin nyenyak.

Matikan lampu

Saat menjelang tidur, matikan lampu kamar Anda. Bila Anda terbiasa tidur malam dan ingin tidur lebih cepat, maka upayakan agar Anda sudah berada di kamar setengah jam dari waktu yang Anda tentukan, matikan lampu dan cobalah untuk pejamkan mata.

Gunakan wewangian atau musik slow

Anda dapat menggunakan aroma terapi agar lebih tenang. Bila memungkinkan, nyalakan musik slow yang dapat membantu Anda rileks.

Membaca buku

Buku yang dibaca hendaknya bukan buku-buku yang memberatkan pikiran seperti buku cerita romantis. Tetapi, pilihlah buku-buku yang memuat hal-hal yang inspiratif.

Rasakan tubuh Anda

Saat berada di tempat tidur, rasakan tubuh Anda. Ini akan membantu Anda menyadari bahwa Anda telah siap untuk tidur.

Atur napas

Dengan menarik napas dalam dan mengaturnya, Anda dapat terbiasa dan sama dengan saat Anda telah tidur nyenyak.

Tulis Buku Harian (Diary)

Menulis buku harian sebelum tidur juga dapat membuat Anda menikmati tidur yang nyenyak. Dengan menulis buku harian, Anda seolah-olah sedang men-download pikiran Anda dan akan meringankan beban pikiran yang membuat pikiran lebih tenang dan tidurpun menjadi lebih nyenyak.

20 Inspirational Quetos to brighten your day

I love inspirational quotes. They are powerful nuggets of wisdom condensed into 1-2 lines. Whenever I read them, I get so inspired to take action .Here i'll share 20 of my favourite inspirational quotes .

“All our dreams can come true – if we have the courage to pursue them.” – Walt Disney

''Be thankful for what you have ,you'll end up having more . if you concentrate on what you don't have ,you will never ,ever have enough. - Oprah Winfrey

''I am only one, but still i am one .i cannot do everything,but still i can do something ;and because i cannot do everything, i will not refuse to do something that i can do.''

''I think the key is for women not to set any limits."  -Martina Navratilova

“If what you’re doing is not your passion, you have nothing to lose.”

“”To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are.”

“Confidence comes not from always being right but not fearing to be wrong”

“The person who says something is impossible should not interrupt the person who is doing it.”

“First they ignore you. Then they laugh at you. Then they fight you. Then you win.” – Mahatma Gandhi

“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

''If you would create something , you must be something .'' ~Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

 ''Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself ." ~Geore Bernand Shaw

“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are difficult.” – Seneca

“It is never too late to be what you might have been.” – George Eliot

“If what you’re doing is not your passion, you have nothing to lose.”

“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” – Albert Ellis

“The sky has never been the limit. We are our own limits. It’s then about breaking our personal limits and outgrowing ourselves to live our best lives.”

''The best way to prepare for life is begin to live.'' ~Elbert Hubbard

''If you have made mistakes ..there is always another chance for you may have a fresh start any moment you choose, for this thing we call ''failure'' is not the falling down, but the staying down . ~Mary Pickford

“Your time is limited, don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma, which is living the result of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinion drowned your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition, they somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” – Steve Jobs

5 most handsome men from different countries

Francisco Lachowski (born 13 May 1991, Curitiba, Brazil) is a Brazilian model.[1][2] He started his career in 2009 when he won a modeling contest in São Paulo, for which he was awarded a contract with Ford Models. In 2009 he did his first runway shows in Milan and Paris, walking for designers like Gucci and Dior Homme.[3] He is currently the highest ranked Brazilian at 14th on 50 Top Male Models

                      Mario Maurer .he was born in BangkokThailand. He is of Chinese and German descent.he is a Thai model and actor. He is best known for his lead roles in the 2007 film, The Love of siaand the 2011 sleeper hit, First Love (A Little Thing Called Love).r

Dennis Joseph O'Neil, born August 29, 1981, is a South Korean actor and model. He was born to a Korean mother and a former American GI father. He is also known in South Korea as Dennis Oh.

Lee Gi-kwang (Korean이기광) is a South Korean idol and dancer. He was a solo singer under Cube Entertainment, also known by his stage name as "Ace Junior" (AJ) when he debuted. He released his first Mini Album "First Episode A New Hero"[1][2] which features the works of the famous composer Brave Brothers. He has now become a member of Beast.

Oliver James Goodwill (born October 25, 1982)[1] is a British actor and singer. He's known to have participated in the music video "Call Me When You're Sober" from the album The Open Door of the rock band Evanescence, and portrayed the main character on the TV seriesRunaway Stars

just a dream

my fav song .

just a dream

(Sam Tsui)
I was thinkin about you, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes; it was only just a dream.
(Christina Grimmie)
I travel back, down that road.
Will you come back? No one knows.
I realize, it was only just a dream.

(Sam Tsui)

I was at the top and I was like I’m in the basement.
Number one spot and now you found your own replacement.
I swear now that I can't take it, knowing somebody's got my baby.
And now you ain't around, baby I can't think.
I shoulda put it down. Shoulda got that ring.
Cuz I can still feel it in the air.
See your pretty face run my fingers through your hair.

My lover, my life. My baby, my wife.
You left me, I'm tied.
Cuz I know that it just ain't right.

I was thinkin about you, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Will you come back? No one knows.
I realize, it was only just a dream.

(Christina Grimmie)
When I'm ridin I swear I see your face at every turn.
I'm tryin to get my usher on, but I can let it burn.
And I just hope you'll know you're the only one I yearn for.
No wonder I'll be missing when I'll learn?

Didn't give you all my love, I guess now I got my payback.
Now I'm in the club thinkin all about you baby.

Hey, you were(was) so easy to love. But wait, I guess that love wasn't enough.

I'm goin through it every time that I'm alone.
And now i'm wishin that she'd pick up the phone.
But she made a decision that she wanted to move one.
Cuz I was wrong...

And I was thinkin about you, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes; it was only just a dream.
So I travel back, down that road.
Will you come back? No one knows.
I realize, it was only just a dream.

If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
And now they're gone and you're wishing you could give them everything.
Ohhh, if you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
(if you ever loved somebody put your hands up.)
If you ever loved somebody put your hands up.
(if you ever loved somebody put your hands up.)
And now they're gone and you wish you could give them everything.

I was thinkin about you, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes (open my eyes); it was only just a dream (it's just a dream).
I travel back (travel back) (i travel back), down that road (down the road)(down the road).
Will you come back? No one knows (no one knows).
I realize, it was only just a dream (No, no, no...).

And I was thinkin about you, thinkin about me.
Thinkin about us, what we gonna be?
Open my eyes (open my eyes) (open my eyes); it was only just a dream (it's just a.. it's just a dream).
So I travel back, down that road.
Will you come back? No one knows.
I realize (i realize), it was only just a dream
(baby, it was only just... it was only just a dream)

Nooo... Ohhh...
It was only just a dream. 

i'm a huge fan of christina grimmie . i love all about her . i always watch her videos on her website .here's a link to go there .i'm sure u'll love her too :)

lovely advise

-Drink plenty of water.
-Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
-Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
-Live with the 3 E’s - Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy
-Play more games.
-Read more books than you did in 2010.
-Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
-Sleep for 7 hours.
-Take a 10-30 minutes walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

-Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
-Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present    moment.
-Don’t over do. Keep your limits.
-Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
-Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
-Dream more while you are awake.
-Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
-Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your -present happiness.
-Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
-Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
-No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
-Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear  and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
-Smile and laugh more.
-You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

-Call your family often.
-Each day give something good to others.
-Forgive everyone for everything.
-Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
-Try to make at least three people smile each day.
-What other people think of you is none of your business.
-Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.

-Do the right thing!
-Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
-However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
-No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
-The best is yet to come.
-Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy :)